Remember that time The Valley’s Lateysha accidentally split her skirt on BB’s Bit on the Side, and ended up flashing her bum to the world (well, at least the percentage of the world who watch Big Brother)?
If you don’t remember, it went a little bit like this:
Not a good look, we must admit. But apparently, either clothing brand Reformation was not witness to this disaster, or they learned nothing from it at all.
Because apparently, they thought it was a great idea to release a pair of jeans that allows you to purposefully flash your behind whenever you fancy it.
No, we don’t understand why you’d want to do that either.
Reformation has released a pair of jeans that feature a zipper that starts at the crotch and ends right to the back of your waist.
Let’s just get a few things straight.
Zips are there to make sure your trousers don’t fall down. They’re there to undo when you need to go to the toilet. And they’re there to give you a struggle when you desperately want to rip your clothes off in a passionate affair.
And these jeans just don’t appear to be at all practical – bar the passionate affair bit. If you went commando, you’d probably have a fast-track ticket to getting intimate.
But I digress.
These jeans are positively awful. Not just because they confuse us to even look at them, but because we can only imagine how awkward they’d be to wear.
Imagine going to the toilet in these and having to to sit on the loo with either jean leg flapping against the toilet bowl.
Imagine the struggle of having to take them off after a very drunken night.
And most cringe-worthy of all, imagine the pain caused by accidentally zipping bits that weren’t meant to be zipped. Accidental labia zipping is a definite health hazard.
Worst of all, though, on top of all of the above, these zipped jeans don’t have contain pockets. They contain the outline of pockets, but not actual pockets. Who would do this to us?
Despite these jeans most definitely not being on our wish list, Reformation is still attempting to sell them for a whopping $148 (£115).
$148 for a pair of jeans that contain a zip that could most possibly end up unzipping itself – or even splitting, because we all know how unreliable zips can be – as you sit down, displaying your bum to everyone in sight.
It’s just not worth the risk.
Awkward toilet trips, excruciatingly painful vulva-zippage, and again, NO pockets – it’s a no from us.
We think we’ll stick to sensible, crotch-only zipped jeans, thanks.